Interviewing Sydney Sweeney
Sydney Sweeney makes a pair of jeans look good; Magda Goebbels made a great strudel.
Strangest Times: Sydney, your interview with GQ magazine recently upset many, who interpreted it as confirmation of White supremacist attitudes you might hold.
Sydney Sweeney: Yes, that’s absolutely true.
ST: Haha! Right. That is what people are saying… Now—all of this started when you posed for American Eagle jeans with the label “Sydney’s Got Great Jeans.” And then did a video. Nothing automatically White supremacist about that, right?
SS: Not automatically but I hope that was clear. Not only am I beautiful, busty, blonde, and talented, I’m White. I have excellent genes for the master race.
ST: Wow, Ms Sweeney, that sounds… a bit… I’m sure you’re just joking!
SS: I’m not.
ST: Dead-pan humor. That’s why the fans love you. You really push the boundaries with your subversive content. Like that Hooters skit for SNL, where the joke was that you’re attractive.
SS: I don’t believe I’m subversive. I believe most people think this way.
ST: Haha! Yes… how funny. Now, the ad was for American Eagle. Certainly a patriotic company with its symbology, but some are beginning to wonder about its potential ties to Naziism. Probably imagined. The SS’s logo was an eagle, was it not?
SS: You’re thinking of the Reichsadler used by the Nazi party.
ST: Oh. It’s… weird you know that.
SS: I am a student of history. These days, you have to be if you’re a public figure. But American Eagle’s logo has no connection to the Reichsadler.
ST: I see! So you’re saying the ad did not have ties to Naziism?
SS: No.
ST: Oh, excellent. Wait—
SS: But Naziism and White supremacy are as American as they ever were German. The Nazi party had astounding success in the United States in the 1930s, including massive rallies like the one in New York. I’m capitalizing on that inherent popularity.
ST: So, you’re just capitalizing on it. That’s not great, forgive me for judging. But… You don’t… believe it, do you?
SS: No, I do.
ST: But you’re surely just saying that you believe that Naziism is a problem in modern America as it was in the 1930s, both here and in Germany. Surely that’s all you’re saying, isn’t it?
SS: No. That’s not all I’m saying. I am saying that I believe in the principles of eugenics. We should do that. My genes are superior. Also, by the way, are my jeans.
ST: Oh Ms Sweeney! You are truly a once-in-a-generation comedic talent.
Author’s Note: For a real analysis of Ms Sweeney’s deplorability, please read this fantastic piece by Leftie Jane.
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HAHAHA not far from the truth I fear